Finding your Friends in Food
Alt title: Finding your gastrohomies. YFIF #17: Monday August 26th, 2024
This post might be too long for email and will be more enjoyable in the app.
Happy Monday everyone! Yesterday was Marathon Day here in Mexico City, one of my favourite days in the city. I love admiring everyday people who put their months of training and commitment on full display in a way that brings the city together. Especially running at this altitude is a feat in and of itself. Feeling inspired, I walked a section of the marathon route after it was over, tucked into a café, and caught up on some reading.
Thank you to the 39 new subscribers who’ve joined our big table! Excited to have you here!
This week’s newsletter is in honour of its name: friends in food. About once a week, I get a DM from an eager young writer who wants to learn more about my story, how I got to work on a podcast or write for food media publications and if I could share any tips or tricks of the trade. I always say yes to these calls because I believe in paying it forward and will always support people taking the initiative to learn about an industry. I’m still surprised that I receive these types of DMs because I’m still finding my footing and navigating what I bring to the conversation in the food world.
A question I always get is “How do I build a network in the food world?”To which I respond “You don’t.” I think the word networking gives me the heebie jeebies and assumes a transactional relationship. Capitalism has given us this idea that every interaction or conversation must yield something out of us but you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how much enjoying someone’s company just for the sake of it can be more impactful than you think.
When you enter a space with the goal of networking, you spend less time getting to know people and more time getting to know their work which never feels genuine and people can sense that vibe pretty early in a convo. Instead of thinking about it as networking, consider thinking about it from a lens of community-building.
In Kurt Vonnegut’s Palm Sunday, he ponders on what young people should do with their lives today to which he responds, “Many things obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” To find belonging and connection in any creative community, you must start from a place of genuine friendship and humble curiosity. I’ve been in the food world for almost four years and almost all the opportunities I’ve had were from chance encounters at events where I got to know people and showed a genuine curiosity for the things they were doing. It’s how I got to work on my podcast, how I got my first bylines, and how I’ve made lifelong friends who continuously inspire and encourage me.
Yet where does one start? How do you find your people? The ones who fawn over the intricacies of dishes with you or who are always down for a food crawl. You can speed text them asking what to do with that last vegetable from your CSA box or discuss the latest cookbook or food memoir. Sometimes it starts by showing people that you care. Start writing your musings on food, comment on other people’s work or reach out when you’ve been moved by a piece of work someone has put out there. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how many people respond positively and want to engage in thought-provoking discussions. Like all good things, it will take time, a lot of courage, and persistent faith that your people are out there.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to meet people who are also starting up. There is that great Issa Rae quote about focusing on building community with the people who are next to you, in the trenches with you, and who have the same hunger as you. Few things in this world are as inspiring as watching the homies accomplish the big things they manifested and seeing them triumph despite the obstacles, failures, and self-doubt.
"We have a tendency to trying to network up, but it’s really about networking across. Who's next to you? Who's struggling? Who's in the trenches with you? Who's just as hungry as you are? And those are the people that you need to build with."- Issa Rae
I think a lot of my friend Abi Balingit, Filipino-American baker extraordinaire and one of the most fashionable people I know. 3 years ago, we met on the Internet when we were both getting our start in food. Abi with her baking blog and pop-ups, me with a company and through the years we’ve supported each other by showing up to events, sending texts of encouragement, or vibe-checking ideas with one another.
This year, Abi won a James Beard for her debut cookbook, Mayumu, and it was a joy celebrating with her all weekend. It was inspiring seeing Abi receive such a prestigious award early in the game, through balancing a full-time job, pop-ups, and a whirlwind tour to promote the book. We spent the whole weekend just amazed that we had made it into this prestigious room. All that work is not for nothing and I can’t wait to keep cheering her on as she continues to do big things.
I spent a year and a half building a company that wanted to help folks find friends and build intentional connections. There’s something really special about building a comforting space and watching strangers slowly becoming friends, sharing a memorable meal and exchanging stories, recommendations, and experiences.
My favourite part of each Eden Place dinner was towards the end, dessert plates wiped clean with spoons hanging off, beverages slowly being savoured just to keep the conversation flowing, and people exchanging contacts hoping to continue the conversation over another memorable meal.
Years after these dinners have passed, I still receive messages from people telling me how an Eden dinner introduced them to their new friend or creative partner and how those relationships are still going strong. I had to put Eden on pause because it was a lot to handle as a young founder (and I will bring it back!) but I’m always on the lookout for people creating spaces rooted in wholesome community and a deep passion for food. These are always the best places to start because everyone is there on their own accord hoping to find people just like them.
Here are some ways to find your friends in food or gastrohomies if you’re cheesy like me. Most of these are NYC-based but if you have a cool food community in your city, please comment below.
PRODUCE PARTIES
Nothing brings the gastrohomies like a good ole potluck. There’s something beautiful about the organized chaos of a potluck. Mismatched serving dishes filled with delicious treats, trying like 6 different dishes on one plate, and hearing about everyone’s decisions for sticking to the theme.
One of my favourite potluck-style events is Produce Parties, the quarterly vegetable-themed soireé hosted by friend of the newsletter Sarah Teich. Each party celebrates a seasonal vegetable and what blossomed as a 10-person rooftop party now is a 300-bash with DJs, curated cocktails and flash tattoos. If you’re looking for inspo, highly recommend listening to my interview with Sarah on The Future of Food is You, the podcast I host on Cherry Bombe’s Podcast Network.
Produce Parties is now entering its publishing era with a debut zine coming out in a few weeks. The zine is centered around tomatoes as well as tips on how to host your very own produce party.
On September 4, co-editors Sarah Teich, Aisha Joshi, and Sam West are hosting a fete at Farm to People. There will copies of the zine, drinks and bites. Some of the coolest folks I’ve met in food have been at Produce Parties and I can guarantee the vibes will be delicious.
COOKBOOK CLUBS
As a voracious cookbook collector, I’m always curious to hear which recipes folks are eager to try and add to their canon. It’s also cool seeing how recipes come together without having to make every single one. This is why I love seeing the proliferation of cookbook club culture.
Last year, NYC-based Lau launched cookbook club which has become the new place for foodies to bond. I feel like all my friends are popping up at these events, whether it’s the dessert-themed party with recipes from Natasha Pickowicz’s More than Cake or Caribbean delights in Von Diaz’s Islas.
Stephanie came on the podcast this spring (listen here) and shared her inspirations for starting the club, the community that has stemmed from the club, and how the club has fostered an appreciation for cookbooks long after they’re out of their publishing hype cycle.
She’s now hosted 7 club meets and has a Discord channel sharing other cookbook clubs around the world. All you have to do is pay the participation fee, sign up for a dish, and come have a good time. Don’t have the book? No problem! There’s normally a PDF that goes around with recipes! Check out Stephanie’s Substack for wholesome recaps and more info
PROGRAMMING
You don’t always have to spend money to have a good time but sometimes treating yourself to a night out or a fun class can be the best way to meet gastrohomies. There’s always some exciting class, workshop, talk, or activity that is a great breeding ground to meet other like-minded pals.
Folks like baker Jenneh Kaikai have been hosting cake decorating classes, jewellery shop Haricot Vert always has a weekly crafting workshop, and bookstores like Yu and Me Books and BEM Brooklyn always have great events with authors celebrating newly released reads. Shops like Katherine Lewin’s Big Night and are always hosting fun events in partnership with fun creatives and Cake Zine’s parties are always a banger. Pitches for their 6th volume Daily Bread are due on August 29th at 9AM ET.
I’ve also been impressed by the programming from organizations like The Beard Foundation with events at Platform, their event space at Pier 57. Their September programming (look here) has lots of cool demos, dining events, and book chats with authors like Priya Krishna, Hetty McKinnon, Caroline Schiff.
The Libi Project, a mission driven production studio centered around culinary community, hosts these industry nights connecting the food community with producers and purveyors. It’s a fun night that fosters partnerships, collaboration, and awareness of cool brands out there. There will be bites, a panel discussion, and a chance to meet folks in different facets of the food industry. Libi Project is hosting their 5th industry night on September 16th at Bin Bin Sake Bar. Grab tickets here.
I’ll continue to post fun events in the newsletter as I find them and also if you’re hosting something, please share them!
Taking a moment to plug that I’m interviewing debut author and friend of the newsletter Kiano Moju for her cookbook, Africali on September 10th. It’s a celebration of her Kenyan and Nigerian heritage and growing up in Northern California. Tickets are available here and now back to regularly scheduled programming!
VOLUNTEERING
In order to grow, you have to give back in any way you can. Most of us are really fortunate to not think about where our next meal is coming from and spending a few hours to support someone less fortunate than you can go a long way. Also, it’s a great way to learn about the intricacies of food systems that support those in need.
In college, I volunteered at The Bowery Mission and God’s Love We Deliver kitchens and always enjoyed the company of my fellow volunteers eager to hear about their motivations for spending their time this way. I’ve also heard really great things about the Reffotorio Harlem, operated by Food for Soul, Massimo Bottura’s foundation focused on creating dignified spaces to prevent food waste and social isolation.
One Love Community Fridge is always looking for volunteers to help stock community fridges and pantries across New York City. Composting company Ground Cycle is also eager to find people who can support their compost hub programs, man their community garden, drive around for deliveries, and offer skills like web development and design.
If you’ve got a green thumb, community gardens like Oko Farms (sign up for their newsletter for volunteer dates), Bed Stuy Urban Farm, and Red Hook Farms are great places to revel in nature and appreciate seasonal bounties of produce.
POP-UPS/ SUPPER CLUBS
There’s something special about breaking bread that makes people feel comfortable, open, and eager to share. One of the fortunate things about the pandemic was the rise of pop-ups, supper clubs, and dinners encouraging folks to try creative concepts. This mode of dining has only gotten stronger since dining reemerged and it’s been fun hearing stories of people walking into a dinner nervous and leaving with a bevvy of new pals.
There are so many pop-ups happening and I’ll continue to share them as I see them but I’ve been really impressed by Charlene Luo’s Baodega dinners, 10 courses of Chinese delights that she cooks all on her own with no recipes, just vibes, pop-up darlings Has Dac Biet with their global tours, and Reenie Karim’s South x South Asian series.
Have a fun or memorable story about where you met your gastrohomie? Lemme know in the comments below!
Can I smash the like button more than once? Building community with folks in your business/passion/hobby is more important than almost anyone talks about. I equate networking with building actual personal relationships with people. And I'm lucky to count Abena as a friend in food.
So nice reading about all these different people doing their thing bringing people together! Very inspiring .
I am doing my own little part in Helsinki , Finland. As i am half Greek my events centre Greek cuisine and culture. In Greece every important moment revolves around food and it is always shared. It was something i was missing moving to Finland even though i am half Finnish, I grew up in Greece & was more influenced by that culture naturally.
Cudos to you for writing about all these people & events!